Card Games
by Numbuh 212
Summary: Numbuh 3 wants to tell Numbuh 5's romantic future. Oneshot, 15.


I don't own the KND

Card Games

Numbuh 5 was listening to a CD in her room when Numbuh 3 burst through the door, waving a magazine. Abby could hear her excited cry of "Numbuh 5, look at this!" even through the music blaring from her headphones. She stopped the CD and slipped off the headphones, marveling at how - even at fifteen - Kuki still retained such a strong sense of childlike wonder.

Numbuh 3 bounced onto the bed next to her friend and opened the magazine. Numbuh 5 groaned inwardly as she saw that it was one of those teenybopper things with more clothing ads than articles. Sure, she read them occasionally herself, but she wasn't as interested in the quizzes, which usually promised to tell you which member of the latest boy band was your soul mate, as Kuki was.

Sure enough, the page Numbuh 3 indicated was titled _Tell Your Romantic Future._

"Numbuh 3, what is _that?_

"Isn't it cool, Numbuh 5?" She bounced up and down some more, then pulled out a deck of Rainbow Monkey playing cards from her pocket. "And all you need is a deck of cards!"

"Oh goody."

Numbuh 3 chattered on, blissfully oblivious of the sarcasm in Abby's voice. "Won't you let me tell your fortune, Abby?"

"I'd rather listen to Numbuh 1's singing," she said disgustedly.

"Aw, please?" she clasped her hands together and tears began welling in the corner of her eyes. Real, honest-to-goodness tears. Numbuh 5 couldn't believe it.

"Oh, okay." She might as well. Kuki could keep this up all day.

Numbuh 3 sorted through the deck, pulling out the four aces and laying them on the bed. "Now, you get to pick four boys. Best friend, like, crush, and love." She pointed to the ace of clubs, then diamonds, hearts and spades.

This time Numbuh 5 really did groan. "This is ridiculous, Kuki."

"Okay, if you don't want to, then I will." She thought for a moment, and then grinned. Pointing to each ace as she said them, she named four boys. "Numbuh 2, Heinrich, Maurice, and…Numbuh 1!"

"What?!"

"I said I would pick if you didn't. Now, stop complaining and pick three cards, but don't look at them." Kuki held up the rest of the deck and fanned them out, face down.

Abby dutifully plucked out three cards and, without looking, set them down. "What's next?"

Numbuh 3 consulted her magazine. "Next you answer a question that be answered with one of their names. Like, maybe, which one thinks you're dreamy, or who wants to kiss you."

Numbuh 5 made a gagging noise. "You have _got_ to be kidding me."

"Well, that's what the magazine says. Besides, I don't see _you_ offering any suggestions."

"How about, who would think this game was a total waste of time?"

Kuki rolled her eyes, but she looked at the top card and said, "Maurice."

"That figures," said Abby with a smile.

"Okay, now I get to ask one. Who thinks it's cute that you speak in third person?"

"Cute? Numbuh 5 is not 'cute!'"

"That's what you say. However," she flipped up another card, "_Numbuh 1 _thinks the way you talk is very cute." Numbuh 3 grinned mischievously.

Numbuh 5 hit her with a pillow.

"Don't, you'll mess up the cards!" She leaned protectively over her little setup. "Now, ask another question, a _real_ one this time."

Sighing, Abby gave in. "Which one, uh, likes Numbuh 5's hat?"

"Heinrich," Kuki squealed.

"Puh-leeze. That boy is so full of himself, he probably doesn't even know what color my hair is."

Numbuh 3 had to agree. "What's next? How about, which one likes your singing?"

Numbuh 5 shrugged, and Numbuh 3 turned over a card. "Numbuh 1!"

Abby gave her a dubious look, then said, "Forget that stuff. Who would buy Numbuh 5 some candy?"

After glancing at the next card, Kuki grinned triumphantly. "Numbuh 1."

"You can't be serious. Give me that!" She grabbed the card out of Numbuh 3's hand, but it was indeed a seven of hearts. "Kuki, did you rig the deck or something?"

Numbuh 3 put both hands up, palms out, as if warding off Numbuh 5's irritation. "I swear, they're not fixed at all!"

"Fine." Numbuh 5 was still skeptical, but she decided not to press the issue.

They continued through such questions as: Who would rescue her from candy pirates? (Numbuh 2), Who thinks she's smart? (Heinrich), Who looks up to her like a big sister? (Numbuh 2), who would come and protect her when she's sick? (Maurice), and, at Kuki's insistence, who was thinking about her right now? (Numbuh 2). Finally they came to the last 5 cards.

"The last question is always the same," Numbuh 3 said with authority. "Who will always love you and never be selfish?"

This time it was Abby's turn to roll her eyes. "No way!"

"Aw, come on, you've done it this far!" She turned over the next card before Numbuh 5 could protest any further. Her eyes gleamed, but she didn't say anything.

"Well?" said Numbuh 5 eventually, overcome by curiosity.

"Numbuh 1!"

"Oh, now Numbuh 5 _knows_ that this is rigged."

"Stop being such a spoilsport!" Kuki handed her the piles of cards from the ace of diamonds and the ace of clubs. "Now sort these by suit, please, but don't get them mixed up! Remember which is which."

After they had set up all the cards, Numbuh 3 looked at the magazine, then back at the cards. "Now, these sets will tell you what your future will be with each boy. Hearts stand for love, spades stand for fighting, diamonds represent money, and clubs mean children."

"Numbuh 5 thinks that this is just about the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard of!"

"Oh, stop whining." She fanned out the cards from the pile representing Numbuh 2. "Now, it says that between you and Numbuh 2, there isn't much love. You are fighting a lot, and," she gestured to the Jack of spades, "you are thinking about seeing other people. No wonder; there's almost no money, and you have four kids."

Abby stared at Kuki wordlessly.

""Hey, don't look at me, that's what's in the cards. Now, let's look at Heinrich's info."

"Oh please, can't we just stop now?"

"Nuh-uh. Now that you've started, we have to finish."

Kuki seemed pretty determined. Numbuh 5 folded her arms and sulked, but she stopped protesting.

"Now, where were we? Oh yeah, Heinrich. Well, it appears that there is some love between the two of you – more than with Hoagie, at least – and it's semi-passionate. Not much fighting, and that little bit is over small things. You have lots of money – not surprising – and you've invested wisely. Oh, and you only have one child." She shook her head sadly. "Not doing much, are you?"

"Oh, that is it!" Abby pounced on Numbuh 3, scattering cards in all directions, and began tickling her wildly. "This game is SO over!"

"Ah, no, stop, I wasn't done yet!" cried Kuki between giggles. "We still have to do Maurice and Numbuh 1!"

Numbuh 5 waved a hand at the cards scattered all across her bed. "I don't think that we'll have the chance. Sorry, Kuki."

"Oh please, you're not sorry at all," Numbuh 3 pouted.

"Okay, you got me. I am not sorry in the least that I interrupted this completely idiotic game." She felt slightly bad, though, for making Kuki upset. "Here, those cards you gave me at the beginning of the…whatever it was, are still separate over here.

Numbuh 3's face immediately brightened. "Oh, great! Give them here." She flipped them over one by one. "You love…Numbuh 1, you are loved by…Numbuh 1, and you will marry…Numbuh 1! It's fate!"

Numbuh 5 was immediately sorry that she had even mentioned those cards. "Okay, you had your fun, now will you take those cards and get out of my room? I really don't want to think about this for another second!"

"Okay." She skipped off, humming softly to herself.

"Well, that's a half hour of my life that I'll never get back," Abby said as she watched Numbuh 3 leave. However, when she was sure the other girl was gone, she went to a desk drawer and pulled out her own deck of cards. "Now, how did that go again?"

The End

A/N: Yes, I am aware that this story is completely pointless. Unfortunately, the plot bunnies teamed up with my Inner Fangirl and have taken hostage my the Sensible Author part of me. At the moment she is tied up in the corner. The Fangirl says that if you ever want to see Sensible Author again, this story must get 15 reviews by the end of next week. Please help. If you don't she'll tie SA to a chair and make her read bad fanfics until her eyes bleed. Please, help stop the abuse!!


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